Cali Boy vs. Marco Thunder (My Nuts, Bro) Wrestler4Hire

Cali Boy has all but proven himself to be the King of the Jobbers for W4H. Not only does he agree to a match against Marco Thunder, a man who can challenge the manliness of most any man, but he shows up with greased hair and a leather jacket. Marco just laughs and refers to him as Danny Zuko from ‘Grease.’ Cali Boy tells Marco he should be honored he even stepped into this f’ing ring. If the betting window was open, the safe bets would be that Cali Boy will live to regret those words. He then tells Marco he f’ed his girl. Seriously? Cali Boy must be pretending he plays for the other team. We’ve seen his ample package look a little too firm when he’s getting his ass kicked to believe he has an interest in girls. 

Marco, however, is all man. His body fat has to be close to 0%. He has muscles on top of muscles, attitude to back them up, and testosterone that would surpass Super Man. He has on trunks so skimpy and full of his manhood that we are worried – or hoping – the stitching will burst, revealing the huge package underneath. Cali Boy is dumb enough to keep talking about what Marco’s girl loved. We know he’s been out could numerous times in sleeper holds, but did he receive brain damage from being out so long? Who the f*** would be stupid enough to say such things to Marco? As is typical, Marco keeps his temper in-check, but still beats the hell out of this young punk. The brutality has to be witnessed to be believed. The best way to describe it is to call it pure manhood abuse. Cali Boy keeps running his mouth and Marco calmly and methodically beats him to a pulp. 

Marco continually tosses this bitch around like a sack of potatoes. He’s calm, cool, and collected, but clearly is 100% dominant over this punk jobber. Marco even points out how cute it is that Cali Boy shaved his legs for the match. Let’s face reality, any man who shaves his legs to wrestle would never be looking for a girlfriend. The last pussy Cali Boy saw was when he was born. Cali Boy is stupid enough to tell Marco his girl gave him a harder time than he has. That’s just begging for punishment. The more Marco punishes this jobber, the more firm things appear to be in his trunks. There’s no doubt that Cali Boy is enjoying this punishment. There isn’t a straight woman or gay man who doesn’t enjoy seeing Marco dominate and humiliate this bitch. 

Pure brutality is the only way to describe how Marco punishes Cali Boy’s package. As in his other matches, Cali Boy is choked until he is out cold. When rolled over, it is obvious that he enjoys this as is tiny trunks are full and firm. Marco tells him that he f’ed his girlfriend when he was out, but let’s face reality, Cali Boy hasn’t had a girlfriend since he was on the playground as a kid. What turns him on is wrestling a man, a REAL man. On a date, Cali Boy is on his back with his legs up in the air quicker than a hooker at a sales convention in Las Vegas. Sadly, Cali Boy keeps dropping F-bombs, causing Marco to inflict more and more punishment. 

It just keeps getting worse. Marco beats the living f*** out of Cali Boy and finally gets him to apologize for talking about his girlfriend. Marco helps him up off the mat and Cali Boy says he’s done. Who wouldn’t be? He’s just received the beating of his life and is lucky to still be alive and have is privates still attached. Marco tells him to promise not to talk about his girlfriend ever again. Cali Boy responds by flipping him off with both middle fingers and saying, “F*** off! I’ll see her again tonight” Not smart. Marco finally loses his temper and continually pounds on him until Cali Boy can take no more. Marco finally shows some mercy and releases the bitch. As Cali Boy is holding on to his package and writhing in pain, Marco takes his leather jacket, flexes over his bitch, then exits the ring, leaving Cali Boy crying in pure agony.

Jobbers need to learn many things, one of which is that you never trash-talk the significant other of your opponent. Cali Boy has learned this lesson, the hard way. Speaking of hard, given the abuse Cali Boy’s manhood took, I doubt even Viagra could help him get hard at this point. Hopefully he learned his lesson.

Total Run-time: 27 minutes, 44 seconds