Jobe Zander vs. Austin Tyler & Coleman Free Hero Hunks

Jobe seems surprised with both Austin and Coleman show up together, asking “What happened?” Jobe touts his skills and talents, and he’s right as he is a very well respected and accomplished wrestler. Austin and Tyler say they had a bottle of wine the night before and brushed up on some of Jobe’s stuff. Coleman adds that they’ve seen it all and it doesn’t impress them. That makes us wonder just how big their bottle of wine was and how much they drank before watching Jobe’s accomplishments. All three wrestlers are tossing out insults, with Austin and Tyler clearly believing they are superior. Jobe suggests they start with a double handshake, then ends up with a double headlock, followed by smashing their heads together. The two pretty boys are probably each seeing as many stars as Jobe has star tattoos on his body. As a matter of fact, the head smash probably caused a bigger headache than these two woke up with from all their wine the night before. Let the games begin! 

Austin wastes no time in calling out an SOS and reaching for Coleman’s tag. Coleman yells out to stay with him when Jobe comes over and starts his beatdown on him. With both arms in a standing hammerlock, Austin tries to tag Coleman using his boot. To say the least, it’s comical. To say the most, it looks like Austin has let his mouth write checks his butt can’t cash. He should have spent less time wrapping his hair up in a schoolgirl bun and more time learning how to wrestle. Austin continues to be punished and continues to reach for a tag, but Jobe has him totally under control. Jobe really has some fun when he unwraps the bun in Austin’s hair, just so he can stand on it and stretch his arms out. Austin is screaming in pain instantly. Austin is a good-looking man, but definitely spends more time on his hair than becoming a wrestler. A blow to the side of Austin’s head has his hair flopping around like Larry’s from the Three Stooges. Actually, that seems appropriate as Austin is looking like a stooge. A couple of blows to Austin’s package and he’s crying for help, but does manage to reach over and tag Coleman. 

Coleman comes in with a vengeance, placing a boot squarely in Jobe’s gut. Coleman gets in a couple of more good shots, but then Jobe instantly takes control again. A low blow by Jobe make Coleman look like he’s going to pass out as he falls to the mat. Coleman is subjected to a series of hold and shows and expression of sheer agony on his face. That’s okay, it matches the screams of pain coming out of his mouth. Coleman is put into a bearhug as we hear Austin say, “That’s degrading!” What’s degrading is two jobbers being turned into bitches by one heel. After more punishment, Jobe says, “You may want to tag this guy.” Even more degrading. Austin, of course, is showing no interest in tagging his partner. Who can blame him? These two have done nothing more than suffer pain and punishment so far. 

Austin doesn’t wait for a tag and grabs Jobe’s arms, allowing Coleman to place his boot and fists in Jobe’s gut several times. The only time in the match these two haven’t been getting their asses kicked is when they are double-teaming Jobe. Jobe is dropped to the mat as Austin grabs his arms and Coleman grabs his legs and stomps on his gut. The jobbers switch sides and Austin plants a knee right into Jobe’s ample package, grinding it harder and harder. They try to pin Jobe, but even the two of them can’t hold him down. Austin holds Jobe while Coleman inflicts more punishment to his abs and ribs. They finally get a submission from Jobe when Coleman grinds his fist into his ribs. The jobbers waste no time in putting Jobe in a double armbar. They continue the double-teaming and gut punishment, dropping Jobe to the mat. Coleman goes for a pin, but is only able to get a two-count. Coleman says it is like chopping off the wings of a butterfly, but he’s not that pretty, while Austin says he almost feels bad. Coleman goes for some serious nipple torture while Austin has Jobe’s arms stretched out. He then starts pulling out Jobe’s chest hair, one-by-one, most likely because they are jealous they don’t have any chest hair. A 

head scissors and figure-four combo has Jobe in serious trouble. It isn’t long before Jobe is forced to tap. Austin pulls himself up by the rings as Coleman has Jobe in a full nelson. Austin gets Jobe in a standing head scissors using the rings for leverage. Coleman nails Jobe’s ribs with a serious punch. 

Austin continues to squeeze the head scissors until Jobe is passed out. Jobe is left out cold on the mat as the two punks talk about cracking open another bottle of wine and how good Jobe used to be. What they fail to acknowledge is that when they faced him one-on-one, they both were destroyed by Jobe. Only after the mercilessly double-teamed him for an extended period of time were they able to win the match. We wonder if either has the balls to face Jobe alone sometime. Time will tell.

Total Run-time: 20 minutes