Noah Yuckenberg Vs. Nick Justice Hero Hunks

Noah is new and probably feeling a little cocky, because he wiped the mat with super-suffering twink Dawson in another match. But if there’s anyone who can knock the cocky from here to the next town, it’s super heel Nick Justice. Noah’s all ruddy-faced and probably wears a letterman’s jacket. Justice is the eternal bad boy who would have ditched class, scored some booze, and hopped on his bike (and we don’t mean a Schwinn). Justice doesn’t like to leave the minions in his dungeon, so if you’re going to make him wrestle, you better be worth his time, or you are in for some serious hurt. 

Noah will literally not know what hit him. After Justice’s infamous f-bomb opening trash talk, he wastes no time in dropping Noah to the mat, proceeding to punish Noah with a series of crushing elbow drops. Justice drags him face down back to the center of the mat, and you will feel Noah’s skin burn and hear the whimper as he contemplates what might be coming next. Justice keeps asking him, “Are you going to be my minion?!” Yet Noah remains defiant. We’ll see how long that pride lasts. Because with each of Noah’s weakening “No’s,” Justice’s “Wrong answer, bitch!” retorts take on an ever-more evil roar. And there’s no denying Justice’s skills. He can maneuver with ease from a back-breaking Boston crab, to a full lift of the pretty boy over his head for a bone-crushing body slam. You are going to experience the encyclopedia of classic wrestling moves, while every ounce of dignity is stomped, slapped, gouged, knee’ed, choked, slammed and nipple twisted out of Noah. 

Noah desperately tries to give up, but Justice only growls back, “I don’t care if you give up. This isn’t about giving up, bitch!” Wearing a singlet is new to Justice, but the upper straps make a great noose for this sado-master. Wrapped around Noah’s neck as perfect leverage for a neck crank, we think he’s enjoying the sight of the veins in Noah’s neck bulging as the noose gets tighter. You might wonder which is more painful – the noose, or the fish hook pulling back so far you might wonder if a jaw can really open that wide. He’d probably squeal like a pig if he had any breath. We know you longtime fans might be thinking, “Yeah, I know the Justice deal.” But this is suffering and sadism taken to deep, new lows. When Noah is stripped of his singlet, his red-marked body heaving in sweat with just a tiny speedo between him and complete embarrassment, you might even feel sorry for the boy. Or not. That’s up to you, but this match is Justice solidly delivered, with another poor soul lost to the dark side. 

Run-time: 20 minutes, 54 seconds